I’ve been reading blogs all afternoon. To be specific, the blogs of young married women at Hope (my church). It’s adorable. So sweet. They are precious, beautiful women of God. I'm incredibly thankful to have so many Godly women living their lives right in front of me. I have so much to learn.
To clarify: I want to be married. Not now, but someday. Someday relatively soon.
I’m so excited to be cherished by the man God gives me. I want to be protected by his strength. I can't wait to know God more through him. Yes, I’m certainly looking forward to it.
However, I’ve also been reading the blogs of a few of my single friends. To see what they write about future relationships can be encouraging on occasion, but it also makes me think that we’re on different pages. They say things like “I’ll choose to be happy now” and an assortment tired clichés that sound more that an attempt to convince themselves of this truth than an effort to convey the things their Lover has whispered to their hearts.
Maybe I’m misunderstanding their words. Perhaps. All I know is that there is a duality of truth that I’ve come to understand: 1) I’m so excited to be married. Yes, it will be extraordinarily difficult. Two broken, sinful people can not magically create a sinless relationship. Yes, it will hurt. Vulnerability always does. And yes, every moment will be worth it. Why? Because my Redeemer uses marriage to sanctify his children and to illustrate his deep, abounding, unrelenting love for us. 2) I'm completely whole and satisfied right now. I delight in eating my green beans straight out of the bowl and spending "date night" snuggled on the couch with my roommates. Because my Savior loves me, I lack no good thing! Although my heart longs to be in a relationship, I'm not because God is being good to me!
Don't get me wrong, it's been quite a journey. It turns out redemption can be a pretty painful process. A couple years ago, I never could have imagined all of the ways the Lord was going to change my heart. But God is good. And not just in a "something exciting happened, so I'll end my Facebook post with 'God is so good'" way. I mean that when life hurts and my heart breaks, when children are abused and people starve, when there just isn't a light at the end of the tunnel, God is GOOD! What does that mean?! Dictionary.com offers a few synonyms:
- kind
- worthy
- genuine
- valid
- dependable
- attractive
- close or intimate
- sufficient
- available
- best
- great
- faithful or loyal
Anyway, back to the trendier topics of marriage, singleness, and contentment. Let me just express how thankful I am that God has a plan for every detail of my future. I don't have to worry. I don't have to have things planned out. I just need to be available to be used by him. I just need to trust him. He is faithful to satisfy my every need. Even (and perhaps especially) when everything is falling apart, he fills me with joy and gives life to the fullest. My Jesus is amazing. He is everything I need.
